notoriousgnb

I’ve known I wanted to start blogging for awhile, not about anything in particular, but I suppose if I was forced to describe my personal brand it would be a hybrid lifestyle blog full of cynicism, delusions of grandeur, an ever so light sprinkling of sarcasm, and more than likely an overabundance of reality television/pop culture references.

I feel like those elements make the above picture a perfect introduction. That dime piece holding the parasol? That’s me circa 1998, having just participated in a Parisian themed ballet recital. Anyone who’s ever seen Dance Moms will clearly be able to see that I’m more of an Abby Lee Miller than a Maddie Ziegler, and anyone with eyes, Dance Moms savant or not, can see that ballet probably wasn’t my “thing.”

Yet despite the fact that my dancing showed about as much promise as your aunt’s drunken performance to FloRida’s “Low” at your Bat Mitzvah, I took it until I was 17, because I’m convinced my parents had children so they would have free, albeit terrible entertainment.

Honestly, Twitter is my usual platform for spewing my nonsensical ramblings about the Real Housewives franchise, avocados, my short lived (yet somehow way too long) career as a ballerina, other people’s fashion choices, and a whole bunch of other random absurdities. Twitter cages me in though, at 140 characters I can’t really say everything I want to say about these very important topics, and like Miley Cyrus, I can’t be tamed.

I’d close this out with something like “So come on this journey with me..” but the word “journey” is way too “Eat, Pray, Love” and Julia Roberts is the worst, so instead I’ll leave you with some immortal words from the one and only NeNe Leakes.. “Bye Wig!”